Subodh Sharma

Life Partners

“When two people become life partners, they both lose something and gain something. In almost all the cases, the combined gain is much more than the individual loss. The moment when anyone of the two partners start thinking that the individual gain has to be more than the loss, the marriage or the partnership becomes a vulnerable commodity. It degrades itself to a business partnership from a life partnership.” Subodh Sharma

“Understanding of combined gain is the reason of successful marriages whereas, the sense of individual gain is the reason of failed ones.” Subodh Sharma

Relation

My and VJ’s parents taught us this relation very well. There are no other couples who can teach us (and the world!) this relation. Married and together for 60 years, they haven’t lived a moment without each other. Their combined gains are endless. They don’t even remember now what they might have lost individually! Their single, most important teaching is that this relation is destined to be very sweet and fruitful in the long-term so make a long-term commitment when entering into this relation.

That, by no means guarantees a smooth sailing. There are fights, misunderstandings, withdrawal, anger, frustration and what not during the development of the relation. Work on them. Some of their teachings are; have complete clarity of the issue that is causing the problem, work on the differences, withdraw sometimes to cool down, be the first one again and again to speak your mind, wait for the partner to cool down, never leave your nest in anger, use good moments to further strengthen your bond. Most importantly remember that no matter what, your love for your partner is always more than the mere reason for the anger!

We also believe that there is only and only one exception! Don’t continue the life partnership with a cheater! Simple enough! But again this is THE ONLY exception!

This is the relation standing on two pillars! Pure love and trust! Pure love is made of many sub-elements. Devotion, commitment, security, finances, sacrifice are a few of them. Even anger is one of them. But we firmly believe that trust has no other sub-element. Trust itself is a deep fundamental value and expectation of this relation. It has no other component that it can be broken down into. Once trust is gone, it is gone forever.

So once you decide, be a trusting and a trust-worthy partner and your life will sail through all the storms!

Role

The role of this relation is as strong as the relation itself. A family is a basic unit of a community. A community on a broader scale builds a society. The most important role of life-partners is to start a family and build a basic unit of a society. A positive, example-worthy unit that others in the same league will like to follow. We strongly advocate the fact (and option) of life that first, two individuals must have a commitment to be always together and then they should go into the parenthood! To every divorced couple we have spoken, the most critical regret and worry they have is about their children! (Initially they are reluctant to admit!) And they are right! There is a deep (mostly negative) impact on children’s life about marriage and being together!

Responsibility

Tremendous! It is the one word description of responsibilities of the life partners. Their responsibilities towards themselves, family and towards community are endless! As per our opinion if two people decide to be together, their responsibility is to share their joy, sorrow, happiness, mistakes, achievements, successes, failures, learning, health, wealth (or otherwise) and what not! They will not only share but will merge into each other’s life.

Know that life is not and will not be a bed of roses! Also know that it is not and will not be a bed of thorns alone! Any fool can find out a life partner’s mistake and react in sabotage. It takes a wise, learned person to understand, ask right questions, melt down the heat in-between and enlighten the both partners at the end that what the mistake could or would cause them as good partners. Resonating your life with your life partner’s will give both of you everything on a double scale! Minimum! So for sure it is not merely a blank responsibility, it has marvelous perks too! Being and staying together in life will give you wonderful opportunities to fulfil your dreams!

Word  of advice! Do it only when unconditionally willing! For us it is one of the most important step towards the ultimate goal of life; towards peace! Take the responsibility only when both partners are ready! It is only and only happiness that comes out of this responsibility when the two partners share condition-free life!

Rights

Once husband and wife; they have right to each other’s life!

Husband and wife surely have legal rights but we are focusing much more than merely and measly legal rights here.

Think of one person in life with whom you can share all your trust, integrity, honesty, money, happiness, sorrows, anger, life and lifestyle. Think of one person to whom you can give everything you have got in life and never expect it back! Do it over and again if required! That is the type of rights enclosed in pure love that husband and wife should have over  each other. There are couples like this. Specially old couples. We all have read the stories about the couples being married for life. Sometimes sad but wondering stories of how an old couple died hours or days apart!

My point is, to have a person have your life rights is not paradisal talk! It is one of the way to live a peaceful life! I am sure that in this case, the more you give, the more you receive.

Results

A peaceful, progressive, happy, contagious, satisfying and fulfilling life is the result of being good life partners. Good life partners also establish a strong foundation to have children, teach them right life values and cascade this effect to create valuable communities around their influence. Such couples with time teach communities the value of togetherness, happiness, commitment, sacrifice, love and freedom.

Temporary life partners have temporary results. And then in search of better, people hop over from one partner to other hoping to find a fitting one. It is never better until you are better! It never fits until you are the other fitting side! This is the teaching of our parents and our learning in almost 20 years together!

As an isolated logical thought process too, good results need good input!

Rewards

Endless! Being good life(long) partners has its enormous rewards. Gains are plentiful. Life itself becomes a desired reward. Couples enjoy greater social command and recognition with time. Their influence on surrounding communities goes noticeably higher and they are perceived as lighthouse of life relations. Their own family preaches their values and spreads the life teachings hereby increasing their family influence farther.

As our parents said ,” Being partners for life is the sure way to a peaceful, satisfying life. It might still have turbulence, but in the end the reward will be nothing less than a miracle”

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